The Holy Secret

Dearest Family:

Here is my first set of observations regarding the book and the challenge given to each of you.

Bro. Ferrell starts off by challenging us to think about what we truly love -- particularly in a Gospel sense. We probably all agree that if our hearts are right, we should love the scriptures, love the temple, love church meetings, love missionary work, etc. Sadly, this is usually not the case. We tend to take these things for granted. That is one of the signal reasons that love dies – taking something or someone for granted.

I will address some of the reasons why it is so.

Love is an interesting concept. What most of us don’t consider is that love – if it is to grow and flourish -- requires a LOT of work. We have a tendency to assume that love just happens. Not so! Consider love at several levels.

A parent loves a child because of all the work they have given to that child’s welfare. It starts that way, because during pregnancy there is a lot of dedication on the part of both parents – especially the mother – toward the welfare of that child-to-be. It continues to grow because of the efforts that are made to feed, clothe, teach, and nurture that child in the ways that the parents consider to be critical to their future welfare.

You can probably all cite instances from your own experience where a parent no longer loves a child. It is almost always because that parent has been disappointed in the child (usually during the teenage years) and the parent has stopped putting any effort into loving him or her. It is much easier to just give up. Take it from me, you can NEVER give up. Giving up destroys you!

The same is true for the love between husband and wife. When one or the other becomes disappointed by the other, if effort stops then love begins to die. It is at times like this that greater effort is required. Same rationale as above.

In Ether 12:35, the Lord tells us that we need to love everyone even as Jesus loves everyone. That is His definition of Charity. And, he states emphatically that if we do not have that kind of love, we cannot enter the Celestial kingdom. Read that and ponder. We must love Hitler, Stalin, Bill and Hillary Clinton (Sorry! I probably shouldn’t have allowed a bit of light-heartedness to enter this rather sober discussion, but I couldn’t help it), etc., etc. We are justified in condemning the choices they have made, and their actions, but we must learn to love them as children of God and as literally our brothers or sisters. Have any of you considered that as a commandment? It seems to go contrary to our “natural man” natures. We expect that love just “happens”. That is what most of our literature would have us to believe. I say again, love requires a LOT of work.

So, what do we do when love is not where it should be? We need to individually and as couples create a plan of work that will cause that love to develop as it should.

If it is love of the temple we want, we need to attend more frequently and with a dedicated commitment to not only learn something new each time, but to feel the Spirit of the Lord that is there (fasting and prayer would certainly help) and to focus on the person for whom we are vicariously performing ordinances that they cannot perform for themselves. Try to “feel” their presence.

If it is love of the scriptures that we are trying to foster, we need a plan for regular personal and companion study of the scriptures and for what we intend to study. There has to be more involved than just “reading”. And it must be constant!

If it is love for a family member for whom we do not feel “love” as we know we should feel it, we need to create a plan for serving that person in some way that may help to initiate love. It is interesting! Kind of like starting a fire. When the initial sparks are struck, there is often a responsive spark and the two combine to start a flame. I think this is true at any level. This is perhaps the most challenging of all, and is especially difficult when we feel that we have been offended by that person. Remember, the command to love all men is without exception.

So, you have some of my thoughts. I don’t for a second pretend to be an example of all of these principles, but maybe becoming more aware of them is the beginning of something better. I certainly hope so. For myself as well as for you! I believe with all my heart that being better at “loving” is essential to my happiness and eternal welfare. I believe the same is true for each of you.

Your comments are eagerly solicited.

Dad